CALIFORNIA
- The Governor of California is jogging with his dog
along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog,
then bites the Governor.
- The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the
movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the
coyote is only doing what is natural.
- He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the
coyote and bills the state $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for
relocating it.
- He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog
and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.
- The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting
checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound
bandaged.
- The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while
Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now
free of dangerous animals.
- The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing
a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.
- The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to
better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout
the world.
- The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping
the attack. The state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with
additional special training for the nature of coyotes.
- PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million
suit against the state.
TEXAS
- The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a
nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.
- The Governor shoots the coyote with his state-issued
pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $.50 on a .45 ACP hollow
point cartridge.
- The buzzards eat the dead coyote.
And
that, is why California is broke and Texas is not.
