Sunday, October 19, 2014

An old country doctor...

An old county doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out that there was no electricity. 

When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5 year old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see while he helped the woman deliver the baby.

The child did so, the mother pushed, and after a little while, the doctor lifted the new born baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.

"Hit him again," the child said. 

"He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place!!"

Ebola Response Team


Thursday, October 16, 2014

NO SEX AFTER SURGERY

A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, Anne Maynard, has sued St. Luke's Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.

A hospital spokesman replied:

"Mr. Maynard was admitted for cataract surgery. 

All we did was correct his eyesight.

Monday, October 13, 2014

My fellow Americans...


There’s trouble with the car

Wife: “There’s trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor.”

Husband: “Water in the carburetor? That’s ridiculous.”

Wife: “I tell you the car has water in the carburetor.”

Husband: “You don’t even know what a carburetor is.

Where’s the car?”

Wife: “In the swimming pool.”

Why don't you do that?

A couple walking in the park noticed a young man and woman sitting on a bench, passionately kissing.

"Why don't you do that?" said the wife.

"Honey," replied her husband,

"I don't even know that woman!"

Big Tex Says Welcome to Dallas