Today's Nutty Joke

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas.  The music was really, really loud, so I t...

A man is sitting on his porch when he notices two blondes working down the road.  They both have shovels.  One of them digs a hole a...

A private is standing outside in the smoking area when he is approached by a young lieutenant, "Private, do you have change for a do...

A man meets the best Bible salesman in the world. The salesman greets him, "Nuh, nuh, nuh, nice to meet you." The man asks him,...

Johnny is on his grandpa's farm in the rabbit enclosure.  The ground is covered in rabbit droppings. Johnny asks, "What are a...

A blonde girl and her boyfriend are at a bar watching the news.  Suddenly a news story comes onto the screen, a man is standing on a br...

Sherlock Homes and his partner, Watson, are going camping.  After a few hours of sleeping under their tent, Sherlock wakes up Watson.  ...

A man's children were curious about their names. The man's daughter asked him, "Dad, how did I get my name?" The father...

A man is on a long flight and he starts shaking.  A flight attendant notices he is disturbed and asks him if she can do anything to cal...

A woman had twin babies and fell asleep immediately after.  A couple of weeks later she finally wakes up and asks the doctor "Wher...

It's Paige's birthday and she has been waiting for her gift from her boyfriend Trevor for months.  All he told her was "I...

A devout Christian named Tom is on his deathbed.  His pastor arrives and comes into his room.  As soon as the pastor steps in Tom...

The daughters and mother go shopping and the father and son stop in front of two shiny walls that are sliding apart.  An extremely lar...

A professor is about to give his final exam, "You must turn in your paper before 2 PM. I won't take it a second later." 2 P...

A husband and wife who work for the circus go to an adoption agency looking to adopt a child, but the social workers there raise doubts...

As a first grade teacher, I often hear from my students things going on in their family.  Harry’s mother was expecting, and naturally H...

It's this anti-immigration legislation that they're trying to push, where they would allow police officers to racially profile un...

A blonde woman found herself in a blizzard and didn't know what to do. But suddenly she remembered some advice her father had given h...

A motorist is speeding down the road when he is pulled over. The officer tells him, "Sir do you realize how fast you were going?...

A large group of blondes gathered in the middle of New York City to prove once and for all they are smart people. They challenged everyb...